Shreds of hope

The prickly still-green pods of the liquidambar tree are thudding down onto the corrugated  roof of the stoep.  A luscious  silver and  gravid full moon swells between the black  shapes of mountain each  night. Without warning, the season has  turned towards autumn. Grasses bleach along the  verges of the roads, the oaks are darkening, the air is clotted with red dust. The hottest months are still to come and yet autumn is hovering, the wheel edging over.

The  former art teacher wants a peppermint tart for  her birthday supper (oh the bitterness of those born just after  Christmas) and I would rather do  something fresh and delishioso with  peaches and raspberry puree, but, no, she is 82 (she says 79) and she wants her commercially degraded lookalike peppermint tart and that means I shall have to do something involving Orly Whip. Give me strength.

The small white dog known as Khlobie-wa-Kenobie  is undergoing canine hormonal surges and  dances outside on the grass like a fluffy white belly-dancer, twirling and jiggling under the avocado tree.  The other dogs find her embarrassing.

Today I sit and think about  endangered children every where because it is the Feast of the Holy Innocents, the  babies slaughtered by Herod. Hurt or endangered children should be the reason we stop wars and check domestic violence in its tracks.

The year just past is much on my mind, as is the year to come. Rebecca Solnit on climate change:

The Earth we evolved to inhabit is turning into something more turbulent and unreliable at a pace too fast for most living things to adapt to. This means we are losing crucial aspects of our most irreplaceable, sublime gift, and some of us are suffering the loss now — from sea snails whose shells are dissolving  in acidified oceans to Hurricane Sandy survivors facing black mold and bad bureaucracy to horses starving nationwide because a devastating drought has pushed the cost of hay so high, to Bolivian farmers failing because the glaciers that watered their valleys have largely melted.

 

Sober community, and Anne Lamott who both drives me crazy and  enlightens me, on the promise of Advent that is  really a promise for all year round, including what my friend J calls the’ lost week of the year’:

“So three men from the recovery house next door help him to his feet,walk him to the halfway house and put him in the shower. They wash his clothes and shoes and give him their things to wear while he waits. They give him coffee and dinner, and they give him respect. I talked to these other men later, and even though they had very little sobriety, they did not cast this other guy off for not being well enough to be there. Somehow this broken guy was treated like one of them, because they could see that he was one of them. No one was pretending he wasn’t covered with shit, but there was a real sense of kinship. And that is what we mean when we talk about grace.

“Back at the meeting at the Episcopal Cathedral, I was just totally amazed by what I had seen. And I had a little shred of hope. I couldn’t have put it into words, but until that meeting, I had thought that I would recover with men and women like myself; which is to say, overeducated, fun to be with and housebroken. And that this would happen quickly and efficiently. But I was wrong. So I’ll tell you what the promise of Advent is: It is that God has set up a tent among us and will help us work together on our stuff. And this will only happen over time.”

 

 

A year turning over. Time to  pause and reflect, stand silent for a moment in gratitude, amazement, pain. The poet W S Merwin:

With what stillness at last
you appear in the valley
your first sunlight reaching down
to touch the tips of a few
high leaves that do not stir
as though they had not noticed
and did not know you at all
then the voice of a dove calls
from far away in itself
to the hush of the morning

 

so this is the sound of you
here and now whether or not
anyone hears it this is
where we have come with our age
our knowledge such as it is
and our hopes such as they are
invisible before us
untouched and still possible