The daily routines, holding structures as I still think of them. Another icy morning out here, rain fell again overnight and everything is a deep juicy green — unusual out here — saw two red-bellied tortoises out in the veld when walking, streams swollen and rushing down from the mountain slopes. Counted five kestrel and two hawks on rocky outcrops. The Great Dane has just come in smelling wonderful because he has dug up a rose-scented pelargonium — going out to fill in the hole, I see that the montbretias and chismanthus are flowering, great trusses of orange and red. Everything very messy and overgrown.
How sober life fills up with what really matters. Good strong coffee brewing on the stove, tender emails from friends, baby birds squeaking in fragile weaver nests, meaningful work and the phone calls that ask how we really, really do feel here and now. Here is the dog nudging me with his wicked sandy black snout and looking up at me with complete trust and happiness, so that I remember this poem from Jane Kenyon:
Biscuit
By Jane Kenyon
The dog has cleaned his bowl
and his reward is a biscuit,
which I put in his mouth
like a priest offering the host.
I can’t bear that trusting face!
He asks for bread, expects
bread, and I in my power
might have given him a stone.
Ahhh so true…….about the stone.
And the trusting nature of Great Danes, their happy confidence that you would never hurt them. So endearing. Love to Theo.
What really matters – the coffee on the stove, the e-mails from friends. It requires presence in the moment to appreciate these fine, fine things. Thanks for reminding me.
The quality of so much everyday life is so simple Mary Christine — I learned that in sobriety
I’m just back from two nights away from my doggie. (Cats too, though I don’t think they mind as much or expect as much). I really hope that, after I’ve come back, she’s forgotten that I left.
Hi Lydia, I’m never sure how much sense of time dogs have — mine seem to be overjoyed to have me back and hopefully forget the abandonment.
I am not long back from two weeks in hospital with a painful ruptured appendix. Before I went in as I lay in bed writhing in pain, the dear little cat held my hand between two paws and rested his head on it, looking worried. How they trust and depend on us! How they keep us present!
I so hope you’re feeling better now — your cat will be very happy to have you home again. They are so sensitive to illness or unhappiness in humans.
Your dog sound like mine – holes all over the back yard. *L*
Digging is sometimes boredom but also a way to get attention. It drives me crazy and I hope she finds something else to amuse himself with, soon
I have two and one burrows…we’re talking holes so long under the ground that I can’t see her when she’s in them. The other one just likes to throw dirt around.
Seems to be a very rich life, in the present. Gratitude…
So true Allyson — sent off another email yesterday?
Your dog makes me giggle, and my favorite word of the day is now “kestrel.” FYI – I see that you accept the invite to my private blog, but WP isn’t listing you as a current user. I’m not sure what that means… If you are unable to view, check your junk mail for a confirmation email. If that doesn’t work, send me a note at littlebirds3things@gmail.com.
I should get a subscription update when you update G — if not I’ll let you know.
OK — I’ve posted a couple updates since going private. Let me know if you can’t see them! I’m not sure I’ll show up in your RSS feed anymore.
My son will nurse a cup of my *perfectly* brewed, freshly ground at home, Starbucks house blend, really appreciating every sip. He says it is heaven after soup kitchen coffee, and his face shows the gratitude all over. I marvel at this deep appreciation, and I learn from it also.
That is such a valuable understanding to have in early sobriety, appreciation for the simplest things. Love to Andrew and yourself.
I really have been enjoying the everyday things more and more. Nothing earth shattering is happening, but I am feeling good. And the dogs are enjoying the cooler evenings.