Got up at 5am and found the garden quite light, a mix of starlight and moonlight, as if cloudy with phosphorescent chemicals. Usual yawning and intermittently insightful meditation.
Took the handsome Great Dane out for a stroll and waved to the new postman who rides his bicycle at high speeds with hands clasped behind his head. Dog very impressed.
Bumped into an old friend whom I knew years ago — the father of a friend of mine, off fishing on a river nearby for the week. He was always a grumpy and monosyllabic character, heart like a marshmallow, bark but no bite. He sobered up 11 years ago, he told me and is just as grumpy and monosyllabic as ever.
‘They keep telling me I’m a ‘dry drunk’,’ he said.The term ‘dry drunk’ is a derogatory and often slightly patronising term referring to people in AA who are sober but who seem less spiritually evolved than others. I assured him that I don’t think he is a dry drunk. Some of us might morph into the Sugar Plum Fairy or Pollyanna when we sober up, but perpetual happiness, sweetness, blissful Christmas-every-day does not really describe the grittier aspects of sobriety or account for those of us with less sanguine temperaments. My friend says his self-improvement got as far as staying sober and helping other grumpy old men to stay sober and no further. As good as it gets.
Posting this spoofy take on Dr Seuss doing Burning Man because I can’t get lines out of my head, recite bits to the dog as we walk uphill and stop to admire the hands-free postman.
Ya made me cry Mary! Thank you for your reflections on “dry drunk,” I hate that term. If you are a drunk like I am a drunk, any day sober is a good day. Anyone who demands perfect serenity from their sobriety probably never faced alcoholic devastation. Sober is good.
And that video was wonderful! No matter what you just went through, having that medal hung around your neck makes it worthwhile!
Sober is always good Mary Christine — and I find that many AA members use the term ‘dry drunk’ in such a patronising way.
That’s so funny — I just read this story to the children I work with yesterday, and I kept thinking of the journey of sobriety! I was tempted to get my own copy of the book!
I always find that judgement says much more about the judger and not so much about the judgee.
Yes, I agree about judgmental statements, Susan. If someone say ‘I feel like dry drunk’ it is quite different.
I have a good friend who has been sober 20 years and is one of the unhappiest people I know. Maybe the promises of the BB just haven’t been fully realized for him yet or the outside issues may be the real problem. I don’t know the answer to someone else’s happiness.
Happiness or unhappiness are such vague terms Syd — he may be suffering with severe or untreated depression.
Love the video, I just bought Smooch the full set of Dr Seuss for her upcoming birthday. Was exploring them anew! Although, I’ll admit I never understood Burning Man….not in my wheelhouse, I guess;)
Lou, I know zilch about Burning Man and it would probably drive me crazy. I would love to ride a bicycle wearing a walrus moustache and nipple caps though!
Burning Man is something one of my cousins takes part in. Very representative of our west coast counter culture.
I want to go for a walk with our dogs. :::sigh:::
Dog walking, we haz it.
You see, I knew somebody would know about West Coast counter culture.
You know I can’t post comments on your blog? No idea why.
Blogger has run its course with me. I have the new blog ready to go, I am just having such difficulty letting my current one drop away.
I like the video but “burners” as we call them out here can get tiresome. It has turned into yet another money making event for a fun weekend in the desert. But it seems many need this yearly get together who am I to judge?
I’m inclined to admire counter cultural stuff from a safe distance, Dee, know nothing about Burning Man. The video makes it look magical but who knows?
I was called a dry drunk at my first AA meeting. I did not return. What a useless and shaming term. It should be collectively banished from the way us alcoholics talk to each other. 18 months of sobriety under my belt and so much spiritual growth. There is not only one path to sobriety. This is not fundamentalist recovery. Thanks for this post.
from:http://writingmywaysober.blogspot.com/
To be called a dry drunk at your first meeting is simply abusive. Congratulations on your 18 months. I believe there is no wrong way to get sober and many paths. So happy to find your blog.
Thank you for visiting and leaving this link — so moving.
Thanks for your support. And for your writing, wisdom, guidance.