Living inside hope

Thank you for all the kind wishes and  offers of prayer. The tests are inconclusive, there is talk of hospitalisation and heart surgery — the housemate still very tired and  weak, a dreadful patient because she  still wants to do everything herself. She is all I know of family and I would so much rather it was me that was ill. So much rather.

And the glossy black-haired Great Dane has begun moulting. He is not yet a year old and I wasn’t expecting this, so thought he had some terrifying skin disease and I would have to live with a  furless pink-skinned  giant dog. A dog with erysepelas or mange or eczema. All my fault, of course. Then I called another Great Dane owner and  found that my pup is having his first autumn moult and will moult again in spring. Layers of short black hairs everywhere, clumps of black dog hair, hairs in  my morning tea. Apparently  these copious moults destroy many vacuum cleaners and  can last a few weeks.

Dog: Shed a little! Live a little! Cry a little! Watch the clouds go by a little!

You’ve got to laugh a little and cry a little
Sometimes let your poor heart die a little
That’s the story of, and that’s the glory of love
You’ve got to give a little and take a little
Sometimes let your poor heart break a little
That’s the story of, and that’s the real glory of love.

We have frosty dawns and  scalding hot noons, hovering between summer and autumn. Not a breath of wind and the garden wilts in the heat. The old fridge groaned once, late last night, and  began to puddle on the floor. The bathroom is filled with thirsty green lizards, fierce little beauties that  have commandeered the wash basin.

Baby steps, that is the only way forward.

The very least you can do in your life is to figure out what you hope for. And the most you can do is live inside that hope. Not admire it from a distance but live right in it, under its roof.

- Barbara Kingsolver

19 comments to Living inside hope

  1. Elisabeth says:

    That quote from Barbara Kingsolver is worth cutting out and pasting on my wall. It’s true about hope, how essential it is in the face f so much – pain, sorrow and moulting.

    And this too shall pass, as long as the hope for something better remains.

  2. Still keeping you in my prayers…

    And thanks for that quote – I have been mulling something over and I think it should be a “hope” and that hope should turn into reality. It is up to me.

  3. Ellen says:

    I wonder what it would be, to live inside my hope….First to figure out what it is, then to live inside it.

    Wishing all the best for your ill housemate.

  4. Syd says:

    Glad that at least the housemate is being cared for by the docs. Having a full blown heart attack in front of your eyes is not a good thing.

    We have Labradors and two greyhounds–the Labs shed all year it seems because they have the double coat. The greyhounds shed twice–little short hairs that would make a fine artist’s brush.

    Hope prevails even in the worst of times–that is what recovery has taught me.

    • louisey says:

      Syd, it isn’t easy to get ambulances or find a hospital without a long waiting list for surgery out here, so the thought of a heart attack frightens me terribly.

      Your dogs sound adorable, Syd.

  5. I’m sending you much love (and many, many lint rollers) from way across the pond. I love that Barbara Kingsolver quote.

  6. 2widget says:

    Oh dear I do hope your housemate tries to do the right thing for her health it is very difficult when someone you love is going through something you have no control over – thank you for posting the words to that beautiful song I needed to cry today not been the best of weeks here – to stay in the present sometimes is very challenging and animals do help!!!!!!!!!! I believe they always live in the now – all things pass something I found very difficult to understand some years back I know now that everything passes the good bad and indifferent – sending love light and blessings to you all Wendy

  7. That was my one complaint of the German Shepard. The fur was out of control. I believe I use to bitch about it on the blog a lot, too. sigh.

    • louisey says:

      German shepherds have wonderful thick coats but do need grooming. I didn’t expect a short-haired Great Dane to shed so much. Sigh here too.

  8. Lou says:

    Syd is right (of course!). Alanon puts the emphasis on hope. It has kept many family members going in the face of stark evidence to the contrary.

  9. paxaa says:

    All the very best for you and your housemate. Maybe the big puppy is trying to show you how to cope with these things.

    Dog: Shed a little! Live a little! Cry a little! Watch the clouds go by a little!

  10. Angela says:

    I’ll be praying, Mary Louise. Beautiful posts and quote.

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