The Gigantic Dane no longer walks from A to B, he bounces. Like a rubber ball, I’ll come bouncing back to you, whoo-oo-hoo. Last night the Namaqualand mechanic came around and wrestled with the dog on the kitchen floor instead of fixing the car. The dog won.
‘What a fokken wondelikke hund! He belongs back in Namaqualand, jislaaik!’ said the Namaqualand mechanic who only really admires things Namaqua.
If you stretch my love till it’s thin enough to tear
I’ll just stretch my arms to reach you anywhere
And like a rubber ball, I’ll come bouncing back to you
Rubber ball, I come bouncing back to you.
This morning the housemate is off to the funeral of two teenage boys dead of Aids. She says it will be one of those lively funerals where everyone dances around the coffin and sings happy-clappy songs and ululates. Even when the family is weeping, they will also be rejoicing and singing at the tops of their voices.
I am staying home to roast beetroot, write fiction and pull out weeds under the forest plectranthus bushes. Process the envy I feel because my ancient landlord gets to eat cassoulet in France and travel up and down the Rhone and I don’t.
An older friend, an elegant slim woman who came from a very wealthy family and had collected the classic photographs of Ansel Adams and Alfred Stieglitz, once told me she suffered with envy and that it was the coldest and most hateful emotion. She wished envy was like jealousy because jealousy is all about love and hating someone who steals love away from you, wanting to win your lover back, wanting to stab the preferred one in the heart with a dagger. Passionate, impulsive, heart-filled.
You bounce my heart around (You don’t even put her down)
And like a rubber ball, I come bouncing back to you
Rubber ball, I come bouncing back to you
Whereas envy is just a bitter craving for what another has — a bigger house, more money in the bank, more pictures on their walls, more critical acumen, more opportunities, more of everything. ‘At the core of my envy,’ she said , ‘there is the icy place of deprivation, insufficiency. I never have enough to keep me satisfied.’
Out in the garden, the Great Dane is jumping up to bite off the flowering heads of my yellow and bronze day lilies. Wickedness. I have murder in my heart, but he is a puppy and so I just shout for him and he bounces back across the grass, a canine Bobby Vee.
I like to read about the antics of the Great Dane. They are such funny creatures. I have a proclivity for large breeds–have not had a giant breed. But I can only imagine what a romping teenager giant breed would do in this house!
Syd, my pup is a dozebunny and sleeps a lot. He also listens to directions to sit and lie down. But then he bounces and is put out to ply in the garden and causes havoc there. My two small dogs are quieter now but were just as naughty when they were puppies. I can’t imagine living without dogs.
I never thought about the different between jealousy and envy, but that is an apt description. food for thought today.
The difference is interesting Kitty — we are often in a triangle when we speak of jealousy — the loved one, the threat, the jealous self. Triangulation is how we manage many phases of relationships: you, me and the therapist; you, me and your mother; you, me and the adopted son. But envy is about ‘things’ we feel we lack and others have.
I should do a post on triangulation, I worked on it for ages in therapy.
I, as well, have been gifted with thought-provoking words to ponder today as I do as little physical as possible; it will be good to exercise my thinking muscles.
Sounds like a peaceful day Lynda!
At the first concert I ever attended, Bobby Vee opened for Herman’s Hermits!
Another pop classic! We only heard them out in Zimbabwe or Kenya years after they had become stars, but the music is still everywhere.
I want to leave a large comment but I cannot. I am at a loss for words. This was lovely. The image of your dog bouncing has picturing in my mind’s eye how a dog can bounce. I’ve seen my cat bounce. I’ve seen babies bounce. I’ve never seen a large dog bounce.
I wish you had a video camera to catch that moment on time, and put it up on You Tube so everyone can feel the happiness in thinking of that dog bounce.