Well. that was a surprise.
I had a short break from work and took the quiz to find out my word for the year and this is what came up.
I think of myself as a cowardy custard if the truth be told. I’ve run away from the consequences of my actions so often. I’ve lied to avoid embarrassment and said nothing when I should have spoken up. I’ve fibbed to save face. I have resorted to what I used to call ‘spontaneous inventions’ to impress others. I used to put smart little lies on my CV to entice would-be employers and was never caught out. I ran away and hid when a friend was dying and made excuses. I was not brave enough to tell a friend that her drinking would kill her. I stayed silent when the class dunce was mocked at school.
I have been afraid of the truth all my life. The truth pierces right through all the shabby fictions of who I pretend to be.
And I can’t even blame all the cowardice and lying on alcoholism because it was part of my life when young and it still went on even after I sobered up. Telling the unvarnished truth takes more courage than I am capable of.
The best I can do is to tell one small sober truth each day and make an inward note of all the exaggerations and little white lies and various dishonesties.
I’m not fearless and I wish I were.
Huh, I just took the quiz and my word was fearless too. I think it feels more like we are not afraid to live, not afraid of life and what it offers. not necessarily “fearless” as in “courageous”. I am not BRAVE, but I AM fearless. I don’t live with fear in my heart.
I think how we see ourselves and how others see us can be so different – I see in your writing fearlessness, in your words telling of where you have been and drawing a picture of where you are today, or where you are going, there is wisdom and truth and openess and that in and of itself takes on a form of fearlessness.
Mary, I am fearless! I am fearless because I no longer give a rat’s ass what others think, say, or do. It’s LIVE AND LET LIVE–BIG TIME! Of course I finally realize that what other people say, think or do, has absolutely NOTHING to do with ME.
The only place I fear is in myself, my heart. There are no more hiding places in the whole world, than in the human heart, and I believe my heart is the winner FIRST PRIZE.
I used to lie, “when even the truth would have sufficed” (in Big Book!). But I do not lie any more, I just slowly, day-by-day, year-by-year got out of the habit. It is quite an experience, the freedom that comes into the life of one who is a “habitual truth-teller”.
At this point, Mary it is so late, and I just got home after playing (your favorite song writer “Puccini”) La Boheme, and I trult lost track of the topic here–what your blog is about. So it’s time to say good night, and good night Una!
Steve.
Your CD’s have arrived, thought they’d never get here (I did not opt for ‘special’ shipping. I’ll try to get out and post them in morning, else it will be Monday, OK? Just wanted you to know, in the spirit of truthfulness. -grin.
I am fearless too and a bit suprised until I thought about it…I’m not sure I want to be fearless..it has gotten me into trouble.
Mine came out as “think.”